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首页 > 闲话家常 > 寒冬

寒冬

2012年2月14日

湿漉漉的雨夜,瑟瑟的回到家,屋里一片漆黑,父母已经睡了。摸索着穿上在taobao买的棉睡衣,缩在沙发角落发着呆,突然觉得好暖好暖,似乎幸福就这么简单……

幸福一点都不简单,在BJ生活了10年,以为没有积累什么“有效资源”,可是离开了,才知道岁月不会骗人。在那里,最难过的时候有兄弟陪我通宵灌酒;在那里,拍脑袋就知道哪好吃哪好玩;在那里,什么场合都能搭上个把同学或校友。在那里,有不能给我提供利益却能让我有存在感的简单的社会关系。

这些也都算不了什么,比起我以为可以拥有的一个“家”而言。以为漂了10年可以靠港了,却惊觉依然遥远,或者从未起航……

倘若只是梦醒,也算不了什么,但这不是。19岁时的精力、体力、目标都已逝去,如今剩下的只是日渐衰残的躯壳。也许是未老先衰,又或是水土不服,常常咳嗽,关节疼痛,小病不断……穿的比过去多一倍还是嫌冷,每天11点到家,精疲力尽却无法入眠,难得以为在做梦的时候却发现四肢触觉清晰。

又能怎样呢,都是自己选的,就这样吧,也许不用10年,就可以看“大结局”了

闲话家常 , ,

  1. 那时花开
    2012年3月5日13:37 | #1

    看着你的文字,心里真的觉得特别难受,你还那么年轻,应该怎么来帮你呢。其实不管是现在一个人的时候,还是以后成了家,最重要的还是要自己疼惜自己,永远不要指望别人。自己好了,这样才不会遭别人唾弃,才有体力精力去争取美好的东西。最疼爱我们的是父母,可是他们在不断衰老,日益需要我们的照顾。

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